Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
