so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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