It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
