My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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