i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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