Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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