people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
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the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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