her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
