Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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