I bet he comes in French.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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