You're so nebulous sometimes
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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