So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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