big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize