I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
