Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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