I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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