Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize