Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
