The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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