so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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