his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
