My hair reeks of homosexuality.
is wine microwaveable?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
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he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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