i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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