nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
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Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
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The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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