I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize