Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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