she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
