He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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