Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
