Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
