My cat gives me a boner
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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