what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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