After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
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