Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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