Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
