If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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