Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
