Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
