I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Randomize
