this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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