He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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