I wanna bring you to show and tell
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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