Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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