I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
