So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
