I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
