i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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