I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize