How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
