Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
