I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
