I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Randomize
