So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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