Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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