I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
