shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
