But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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