I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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