What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
