U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
two words...techno handjob
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dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
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Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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