She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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