he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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