The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
